I have completely lost my tolerance of fat people.  Seriously.  I am sick of the excuses that overweight people make. I am sick of the "oh woe is me" attitude.  I am sick of the laziness.  If I can get off my butt and run around in 90 degree weather while having a serious health
issue, than people who carry some extra poundage can get off their butts and at least attempt to take a walk.

Take my friend CareBear.  She's 60 pounds overweight (so she says - frankly, I think she's full of cr@p and is more like 80, but that's neither here nor there).  CareBear will not get up in the morning and walk unless I call her and pretty much beg her to get out of bed.  I got news for you, CareBear - I don't particularly enjoy walking with you when I could be running with my dog, and I am not your mother.  Plus, you NEVER shut up.  You just carry on and on and ON about how much you hate your job, your life, how much your xBF wronged you.  I don't even WANT to call you to get out
of bed because for me it's de-motivation.  How am I supposed to get over a breakup when you're still biatching about yours from December '06???

Get your own sorry arse up and out of bed and take yourself for a walk.  I'm not here to beg you to walk, or coax you, or convince you. I don't see anyone coaxing me out of bed.  Oh, wait, that's right - I don't NEED anyone to coax me out of bed.  I have a little something we call self -discipline.  Funny how that works - it's the same thing that keeps me from sitting in my condo with the air cranked to 68 degrees while sitting on the couch like Jabba the Hut shoving brownies into my mouth while watching Dancing with the Stars. 

"I don't want to go out to dinner, " she says, "I'm not all cute like you."  You know what, you're right, CareBear dear.  You're a big girl.  If I saw you in a pasture, I'd call you in with the other cows for the morning milking session.  Being spiteful isn't helping your cause - it's just making you look like a jealous, miserable fat cow.  Muffin tops are not cute.  Popover tops are even worse.  Admit that you are a substantially larger person that you were last summer and buy clothes that fit.  An no - fat people clothes are not cute, so that should be incentive to get off your arse and lose some weight.  I know I wouldn't want to wear a mumu...

"How can you drive around in this heat with the top down?" she asked me the other day.  Well, CareBear dear, it's simple:  1. You get your arse out in the heat and acclimate yourself.  2. You shed the fat from your body and find that you can tolerate the heat.

And another classic: "I wish I could have my gallbladder removed so I could shed weight and become a skinny biatch like you."  WOMAN, yes, I am skinny.  I will give you that.  But the only reason I am a BIATCH is because you annoy the pi$$ out of me thinking that JUST because I had surgery that I've lost weight.  Never mind the morning runs, or the multiple tennis games per week in the Georgia heat, or the 3 hours I spend riding on Sundays (in the GA heat). 

So she asks me to contact my xBF Jeff (bariatric surgeon) so she can get a Lap Band.  Jeff says she's not heavy enough and should make a lifestyle change.  CAN YOU BELIEVE THE BIATCH ACTUALLY TOLD ME SHE'D JUST GAIN THE WEIGHT SO SHE COULD GET THE SURGERY????  There is no magic pill, no magic surgery, no voodoo curse that can make you lose weight. Diet and exercise.  That's it. 

NO GET OFF YOUR ARSE AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!